Light at the End

So, now that the end to our time apart is within sight, I am getting giddy with excitement. But, this excitement is tainted; so many people keep telling me that this will bring a whole different dynamic to the relationship. They say that now that we will both be living in the same area, we can finally get to know each other, and figure out if we are really going to last. I am told almost daily that we haven't yet had a real relationship because of the distance. Now, they feel, we can finally get to know each other.

To all of those people, listen up!!!

I KNOW that both of us living in the same area is going to be different. I know that there are going to be days when we get together after work, and both of us have had rough days. It won't be like before, when one of us was on vacation, and the other working.

But, hear this; all the time apart didn't keep us from having a relationship; it simply caused our relationship to develop differently. We would talk for long hours every day, we learned about each other's pasts, our fears, how to communicate. The distance didn't make us a weaker couple because we weren't confronted with each other's quirks; it gave us a strong base that helps us get past the quirks to who the person really is.

The distance gave us the freedom to share our deepest secrets, our buried scars, and all of the other painful things that make us who we are today; the things that sometimes make us over react in a relationship. Sharing all of that introduced us to a comfort and a closeness that helped us make it through the awkward stage of understanding how to relate to one another.

Although we still haven’t had much time together, I don’t think that effects our status as a couple. No, we don’t have the same experiences that a lot of couples do. But, most couples who have been together as long as we have don’t understand each other as well as we do.

I can tell you all of his quirks, all of his facial expressions, what mood he is in or if he is holding something back by his vocal inflections. I don’t need him to be standing in front of me to tell you if he is smiling, I know him so well, that I can tell when something is bothering him, and know what is needed to make him feel better about it.

The thing that I love the most about our relationship is that I love him just the way that he is, but I know him well enough to see the man that he so easily can become.

We have already talked about what having him live here would do to our relationship. We have discussed ways of making sure that our relationship will continue to develop appropriately. How we wanted to spend our time together, what nights we wanted to spend with other people, we thought of a lot.

All that I am saying, is that you can’t know what goes on when you aren’t around, so don’t spout your judgmental, pseudo-psychological bull-shit at me. I haven’t judged your relationships, or the men that you choose to date, because I know that I don’t see most of your relationship.

-JT

P.S.: Hey handsome- I can’t help but continue to count down the days. I go shopping, because I want to look good when you get here. I can’t wait for all of the evenings that we have planned. I am so glad that we have been able to deepen our communication lately. I am often astonished at how much we share with each other. You captured my heart a long time ago, and every day since then, you have managed to make me fall deeper and deeper in love with you. I am already amazed that I can love someone this much, but I know that I will love you so much more for the rest of my life. All my love forever, your baby always.